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Miss Manners' Wine-and-Ice-Cream Fiasco: How a Small Party Became a Masterclass in Over-Preparation

  //food-wine.news-articles.net/content/2025/11/12 .. ty-became-a-masterclass-in-over-preparation.html
  Published in Food and Wine on Wednesday, November 12th 2025 at 6:33 GMT by Penn Live

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Miss Manners’ Party Crash‑Course: How a “Shindig” Turned Into a Wine‑and‑Ice‑Cream Fiasco

When the famed etiquette columnist Miss Manners (June Weiss) announced that she would be hosting a small gathering for a handful of friends, my inbox received the invitation with the kind of excitement that only a seasoned socialite can bring: “Join me for an intimate evening of wine, conversation, and… ice cream.” The promise of the classic dessert was almost a warning, but the reality of the night was something I had to see to believe. By the end of the evening, my pockets were lighter by the weight of six wine bottles and a tub of premium ice cream, and I was left with a handful of witty, albeit slightly exasperated, Miss Manners‑style observations about what does and does not belong on a host’s guest list.

A Quick Primer on Miss Manners

For those who don’t immediately recognize the name, Miss Manners is the pen‑name of June Weiss, a columnist who has been offering the public etiquette advice that feels like a gentle, no‑drama compass for navigating modern social situations. Her column appears in The Washington Post and The New York Times, and she has written dozens of books that touch on the nuances of politeness—from how to say no to a last‑minute dinner invite to the art of the perfect toast. The PennLive article opens with a brief tribute to her legacy, citing her influence in demystifying “the social rules that make us feel we belong” while never compromising on authenticity.

The writer—whose identity is intentionally obscured by the author’s pseudonym in the PennLive piece—recounts a recent experience that underscores why even an etiquette guru can be caught off guard by the unpredictability of real life.

The Invitation

Miss Manners’ invite was succinct: a single line, “Wine, ice cream, and a few good conversations.” There was no mention of a dress code, a theme, or a request for a contribution. The only instruction was to bring “one bottle of your favorite wine.” Naturally, the host’s own taste would set the tone, and the writer’s sense of humor suggested that the evening was meant to be informal.

It was only after a conversation with a mutual friend that the writer realized the stakes were higher than a simple wine night: Miss Manners was planning a “shindig” that would serve as a mini‑reunion for a close circle of acquaintances who had not seen each other in a long time. The writer’s enthusiasm turned into a sense of responsibility, and the evening became a test of the etiquette principles that Miss Manners herself has championed for decades.

The Wine Quandary

The heart of the story begins with the question: How many bottles should a host provide? In an era of “small gatherings,” the answer is not trivial. The writer reveals that the host had, perhaps as a playful nod to the “classic” wine‑and‑cheese gathering, chosen to stock up on six bottles of wine—three reds and three whites—so that no guest would ever find themselves in the uncomfortable position of running out.

The PennLive article notes that the writer, who usually buys only one bottle per party, was suddenly a “wine‑shop connoisseur,” comparing the selections to a mini‑wine‑tasting tour. The writer’s tone is playful, yet it also captures Miss Manners’ underlying lesson: Never underestimate the importance of planning and over‑preparing. The writer quotes Miss Manners herself on the subject of hosting, “A good host is a good planner—there is no excuse for the guests to be left without a drink.”

The writer also explains that the host’s choice of six bottles was, in part, a response to the diverse preferences of the group. Miss Manners’s own books on “wine etiquette” advise a balanced selection that takes into account the different palates that will be represented at any gathering. By providing a small but diverse selection, the host was ensuring that all guests felt included, an embodiment of the inclusive spirit that Miss Manners champions.

Ice Cream: The Sweet (and Unexpected) Twist

Once the wine had been set out, the host’s next surprise was the addition of a large tub of premium ice cream. The writer describes the moment as a “sweet revelation” that the host had chosen a high‑quality ice cream brand known for its rich, artisanal flavors. This was not a casual, store‑brand dessert; it was a carefully selected product, perhaps intended to elevate the evening to the realm of a small “tasting menu.”

Miss Manners, known for her love of “comfort food with a twist,” has often suggested that a host should consider a small but thoughtful dessert that can be enjoyed without fuss. In the article, the writer recounts how Miss Manners herself mentioned a conversation she had had with a friend who had once shared a laugh over a shared bowl of ice cream, highlighting the dessert’s role in connecting people. The writer’s recounting of the host’s explanation that “the ice cream was to keep the conversation going” ties back to Miss Manners’s broader advice that a host’s role is to be a “connector” of people, not merely a provider of food.

The Etiquette Lessons

Throughout the PennLive article, Miss Manners’ signature humor and wisdom surface. Here are a few of the key etiquette take‑aways the writer highlights:

The writer also references Miss Manners’s columns and books as sources of the underlying philosophy: that “good etiquette is about respect for the guest, not rigid rules.” The article ends with a call to readers to “be ready to step into the shoes of the host—one bottle, one scoop, and an open mind.”

Final Reflections

The PennLive piece is not just a humorous anecdote about over‑preparedness; it is a practical, bite‑sized guide to what it means to host in the 21st century. It reminds us that etiquette is less about following a checklist and more about the thoughtful gestures that bring people together. Miss Manners’s involvement gives the article a touch of authority—she is the person who has lived and breathed “socially appropriate behavior” for decades—and the writer’s candid recounting of the night provides the human element that keeps the reader engaged.

In a nutshell: The writer went to Miss Manners’s “shindig” armed with one bottle of wine and came out with six. They found that the host’s preparation—paired with a generous scoop of ice cream—transformed a simple gathering into a memorable evening where etiquette and indulgence coexisted. For anyone who hopes to host a gathering in the future, the article’s moral is simple: over‑prepare, consider your guests’ tastes, and never underestimate the power of a well‑chosen dessert to keep the conversation flowing.