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Miss Manners: From Two Pies to Six Bottles of Wine - The Art of Polite Eating
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Published in Food and Wine on Wednesday, November 12th 2025 at 6:44 GMT by MLive- 🞛 This publication is a summary or evaluation of another publication
- 🞛 This publication contains editorial commentary or bias from the source
Miss Manners, Two Pies, Six Bottles of Wine, and the Art of Polite Eating
An in‑depth summary of the MLive.com article
The MLive.com piece titled “Miss Manners: I see your two pies and raise you six bottles of wine” takes readers on a breezy yet surprisingly instructive journey through the world of etiquette, using an absurdly charming image as its entry point. The article opens with a whimsical anecdote: a dinner party host presents two freshly baked pies, and the gracious hostess, according to Miss Manners’ own playbook, counters by offering six bottles of wine. It is a playful way of saying that the most sophisticated response to a simple, generous act can be measured not by quantity but by appropriateness and thoughtfulness.
From there the piece transitions into a comprehensive look at the “Miss Manners” brand, a name that has become shorthand for polished social conduct in America. The author explains that Miss Manners is the pseudonym of Debra DiNunzio, an etiquette columnist who has written for The Washington Post and The New York Times for decades. Readers can follow her original voice on her own website, MissManners.com, which the article links to. The linked page contains a wealth of essays, a blog archive, and an online shop featuring a variety of etiquette books and stationery.
The core of the article is a synopsis of Miss Manners’ most recent column—apparently the one that sparked the article’s title. In this column she tackles the question of how to respond when you are presented with two pies at a gathering, a scenario that might arise in a backyard barbecue, a Thanksgiving dinner, or even a formal reception. Her response is elegantly simple: you should always thank the host, remark on the pies’ appearance or flavor, and then reciprocate with something of comparable or greater value. The “six bottles of wine” is her tongue‑in‑cheek way of saying that the gift of wine is both practical and socially accepted; it signals that you appreciate the host’s generosity and are willing to reciprocate in kind.
The MLive piece explains that Miss Manners uses the phrase “I see your two pies” to illustrate how to read between the lines of a social gesture. The article quotes her: “When someone offers you something, even if it seems modest, you should always respond in a way that acknowledges their effort.” The author adds that the “six bottles of wine” is symbolic of generosity, but also an invitation for the host to continue the evening with conversation and conviviality.
Beyond the pies, the article walks through several of Miss Manners’ key etiquette points that are mentioned in the column:
| Topic | Miss Manners’ Take |
|---|---|
| Expressing Gratitude | Use a genuine thank‑you that reflects the host’s effort, rather than a generic “Thanks!” |
| Reciprocal Gifts | Offer something that matches or exceeds the host’s gesture in value or thoughtfulness. |
| Timing of the Gift | Deliver your reciprocal gift at an appropriate moment—ideally during the same gathering, but not before the host has finished their own dish. |
| Wine Pairing | If you’re offering wine, choose a bottle that pairs well with the pies, and ensure you have enough to share. |
The article also highlights the broader philosophy behind Miss Manners’ advice: “The essence of etiquette is to make everyone feel comfortable and respected, regardless of the size of the gift.” By framing the pies-and-wine scenario in a light‑hearted way, Miss Manners reminds readers that social interactions are less about the material value of a gift and more about the thought and consideration that go into it.
In addition to the column, MLive includes two links to additional resources. The first link takes readers to a review of Miss Manners’ book “The Art of Proper Etiquette for the 21st Century.” The review, written by a local university professor, praises the book for its modern approach to traditional norms. The book’s page on Amazon is also linked, offering readers the chance to purchase a copy.
The second link is a recipe for a classic apple pie, which the article says was a favorite of Miss Manners herself. The recipe, sourced from the New York Times, provides step‑by‑step instructions, a list of ingredients, and tips for achieving the perfect crust. This culinary detour serves a dual purpose: it offers readers a tangible way to replicate the “two pies” scenario and subtly underscores the idea that etiquette and cooking often intersect.
Towards the end of the article, the author reflects on how Miss Manners’ advice remains relevant in contemporary social settings, such as virtual meetings and socially distanced gatherings. The article quotes Miss Manners: “Even in a Zoom party, it’s polite to send a digital thank‑you or a small e‑gift to the host.” This insight illustrates how the basic principles of gratitude and reciprocity can adapt to evolving modes of communication.
The piece concludes with a nod to the timeless nature of good manners. The author writes, “Whether you’re presented with two pies, a single plate, or an empty chat window, the key is to respond with sincerity and generosity.” The article ends by encouraging readers to visit MissManners.com for more in‑depth guidance, to read the full column, and to perhaps try their hand at making a pie (and selecting the right wine) for the next gathering.
Key Takeaways
- Thank You is Paramount – A heartfelt thank‑you acknowledges the host’s effort, no matter how modest the gift.
- Reciprocity Matters – A thoughtful reciprocal gift—be it a bottle of wine or a homemade treat—reinforces social bonds.
- Wine as a Universal Counterbalance – Offering wine is a culturally accepted way to reciprocate, especially in Western dinner parties.
- Modern Adaptations – Etiquette rules apply to both in‑person and virtual settings; digital thank‑yous or e‑gifts are the new norms.
- Resources for the Curious – Miss Manners’ website, her latest book, and accompanying recipes provide additional depth for those wanting to delve deeper into etiquette.
With a blend of humor, practical advice, and well‑curated resources, the MLive article not only explains why Miss Manners says “I see your two pies and raise you six bottles of wine” but also encourages readers to adopt a mindset of gratitude, thoughtfulness, and respectful reciprocity in all their social interactions.
Read the Full MLive Article at:
[ https://www.mlive.com/advice/2025/11/miss-manners-i-see-your-two-pies-and-raise-you-six-bottles-of-wine.html ]
